HH…
In 2017, I couldn’t cook a damn thing. Ask my ex. God bless her! My chicken would come out the oil raw with no flavor. My rice would be harder than a brick. My pasta would be so overcooked that it would dissolve before my fork could reach my mouth. My baked chicken would be drier than the Sahara. You get it. I couldn’t cook for shit. However, there was one thing I could make to perfection in less than 30 minutes after work.
Hamburger Helper was my go-to meal after I graduated college. My favorite was the “deluxe beef stroganoff. I cooked the ground beef, added my seasonings, poured in the milk and added my pasta. It was cooked to perfection, and my stomach would be plenty full while my tastebuds were gobsmacked. It’s easy with a shortcut immersion of flavors that are amplified by the ground beef lodged in the pot. It is a cacophony of salty and savory that is an ode to an amazing ancient dish.
My first time having Hamburger Helper was probably in the 90’s. My mom had three kids with three empty stomachs, and she was trying to make a meal for us and herself. Hamburger Helper didn’t require much as well as not being a bad dish for kids. Who doesn’t want pasta and beef drowned in an overseasoned creamy sauce? Besides that, there were options for it—from the cheeseburger macaroni to the cheesy Italian shells to the salisbury (notice how these all rely on ground beef). Hamburger Helper was godsend in a lot of ways. My mom along with many other mothers in 90’s, early-2000’s and even now could feed their kids for weeks on that and an assortment of veggie sides; perhaps, my mom was the only one adding veggies and sides. Also, we loved that! We’d beg my mom to make it some nights as we loved the taste. And I think that’s the magic of something so simplistic. It fed your taste buds, your stomach and desires. Any person from that era(s) was enamored by the pasta- and meat-heavy dish and couldn’t turn down a punch of flavor. However, it sucks.
There’s really no way to describe my disappointment in trying Hamburger Helper years later. 2017, it was energy. 2023, it’s just a pile of pasta glop that has no business being near me. In a way it shows my progress as a cook. I’m able to recognize the flavor mixing issues, the overuse of salt, the pasta being shitty, the usage of beef being a bit out of place and a textural sadness. It was somewhat of a beguiling moment tasting it years later. It made me a bit nostalgic while also having an existential crisis in what I have become at this point. A cook. Maybe I should discuss this with my therapist. I’m thankful for the food in my growing years, but I know what I need now and forever.
gourmet hamburger helper (pasta alla boscaiola)
ingredients
mushrooms (optional style—look at notes for alternate directions):
8oz./1c cremini/baby bella mushrooms, washed + finely diced
2oz./1/4c beef broth
2T unsalted butter
1T extra virgin olive oil
italian sausage (3 servings):
1.5lb. ground pork
1T dried OR fresh parsley
1T italian seasoning
1T sea/kosher salt
1T onion powder
1t nutmeg (not pictured below but please add!)
1T red pepper flakes
1T garlic powder
1t smoked paprika
1T dried cumin
1T black pepper
optional: 1t msg
the rest:
1lb. rigatoni
8oz. pancetta
1/4c white wine
1T cabrini peppers (with a little of its oil)
1 shallot, diced
5 cloves of garlic, roughly chopped
1T fresh rosemary
1T fresh thyme
1 1/2-2c heavy cream
1/4c parmigiano reggiano
1-2T extra virgin olive oil
optional: fresh parsley, chopped + parmigiano reggiano, grated for garnish
helpful items:
medium size pot/dutch oven
medium/large size skillet/pot
paper towels
microplane grater
wooden spoon
small/medium/large bowls
recipe (mushrooms):
In a medium size skillet set to medium-high, add olive oil and butter. Once butter is bubbling, add mushrooms. Cook mushrooms down until water is mostly rendered. Add beef broth. Raise heat to high. Cook mushrooms until beef broth is nearly gone. Set aside in bowl.
Note: This can be done beforehand or the mushrooms can simply be diced and added towards the end. It’s optional, but the beefy mushrooms takes this dish to another level.
recipe (italian sausage):
Add ground pork, parsley, italian seasoning, salt, onion powder, garlic powder, red pepper flakes, nutmeg, smoked paprika, cumin, black pepper and msg to bowl. Massage seasonings into pork. Set aside for 15 minutes.
recipe (the rest):
In large size skillet/pot set to medium-high, add olive oil. Gently place ground pork inside and cook until desired crispness. Set cooked ground pork aside. Add pancetta and cook until desired crispness. Set aside. Discard nearly all of the rendered fat.
In a seperate medium dutch oven/pot, add water and salt. Reach a boil. Add rigatoni. Cook based on the package’s instructions OR until desired doneness.
In the same skillet the pancetta/ground pork was cooked, add shallot. Cook for 1 minute. Add garlic. Cook for 30 seconds. Add mushrooms. Cook for 30 seconds. Add rosemary and thyme. Cook for 30 seconds OR until fragrant. Deglaze skillet with white wine.
Note: During deglazing make sure to scrape bottom of skillet/pot to remove fond from the pork/pancetta cooking!!!!
Add heavy cream (will steam so watch out!) to skillet. Add cabrini peppers, ground pork (I added about 1/2 of the ground pork but it’s up to you! You can use the rest for chili or a nice country omelette) and pancetta. Cook for 4-5 minutes. Add parmigiano reggiano. Stir stir. Add pasta and gently fold inside the sauce. Add pasta water to loosen sauce.
Note: If the white sauce is a bit thick, you can loosen (or thin) by adding more pasta water and a little heavy cream (1T). If the white sauce is too thin or loose, you can raise the temp and cook it down a bit.
Place pasta dish in bowl. Garnish with more parmigiano reggiano and parsley. Enjoy!
