DROWN GOOD
Some nights I would sleep, and some nights I would stay up watching Adult Swim during summer 2005. Those were really my only options unless I wanted to wake up my mother and face that wrath. My feet would walk so lightly on the carpet to grab a small glass of Kool-Aid or water to quench my thirst—my bodily thirst. My eye and mental thirst were only cured by the intro to the show, Robot Chicken.
The show at that point was still very raw as it debuted that year. It was full of derogatory language, totally political incorrect statements and adult imagery: a perfect recipe for the impressionable adolescent, me. Despite my age, somehow I found myself still being obsessed with it; there’s some unexplainable thrill watching things you’re not supposed to watch as a child. You know what I mean! Now, at 28, I would just gasp at the imagery. Nevertheless, there was one legendary bit during a weekly episode I witnessed live back then.
MARIO VICE CITY: Now imagine the most absurd plot to a Super Mario! video game taken to the most extreme degree. The “Mario Brother’s” mistakenly enter Grand Theft Auto’s own “Vice City” to embellish themselves with ill-fated, drug-induced crime. Read that again. That was this bit. It was so bizarre and preposterous I could do nothing but laugh; and, that was the beauty of Robot Chicken. You didn’t have to be an adult to understand all the references. 11-year old me could understand it loud and clear, and the visceral feeling the bit gave was immeasurable. As a way to tap back into those memories, I’m going to make the food or sauce Mario shouts as he comically refers to his brother, Luigi’s, blood: Ragu.
my lasagna
ingredients
my bolognese (red meat sauce)
1lb. ground pork
1lb. ground beef OR turkey
1c/8oz. pancetta OR sliced bacon
2 cans of san marzano whole peeled OR crushed tomatoes
2T of tomato paste
6 cloves of garlic, peeled and minced
2 sticks of whole celery, cleaned + diced
2 carrots, cleaned + peeled + diced
1 whole white onion, diced
1 bunch of fresh basil
1/2c red wine
2c chicken stock
1-2T crushed red pepper
1T of olive oil
3 sprigs of fresh thyme
salt & pepper to taste
Optional: hot sauce of choice + whole italian parsley, washed + left over cheese rinds
ricotta mix
3c/28oz. ricotta cheese
2 whole eggs
1 egg yolk
1 bunch of fresh basil, roughly chopped
salt & pepper to taste
bechamel
4T unsalted butter, room temperature
4T all-purpose flour
2-2 1/2c whole organic milk
1c mozzarella, shredded
1T garlic powder
1T ground nutmeg
salt & pepper to taste
lasagna
oven ready lasagna noodles
2-3c mozzarella, shredded
1c GOOD parmiaginao reggiano, grated
helpful items:
cheese grater/shredder
microplane grater
plastic wrap
9” X 13” in. casserole pan
large bowls
large size pot/dutch oven
whisk
wooden spoon
strainer
ladle
recipe (my bolognese):
In a large pot set with olive oil set to medium high, gently place ground pork and ground beef at the bottom (you can do them separately or at once). Allow sides to sear a bit before breaking up with spoon or potato masher. Remove meat after it has fully cooked and strain in sink. Wipe out pot and allow to heat back up to medium high.
Place pancetta in pot and cook until pancetta has darkened a bit. Remove and set on a paper towel covered plate. DO NOT THROW AWAY. Place onion, celery and carrots into pot and cook until fragrant—make sure to scrape the bottom of the pot to get that pancetta fond to infuse with the veggies. Add garlic and thyme sprigs. Cook until onions have become nearly translucent. Add wine and allow wine to cook down. Add tomato paste and cook into tomato smell has subdued.
Note: You can add the entire thyme sprigs, but I prefer to pull the thyme leaves and those. This is easier unless you feel like fishing for thyme sprigs later.
Next, add the crushed or whole peeled tomatoes to the pot. If the tomatoes are whole peeled, use the side of the pot to break up the tomatoes. Fill one of the tomato cans with chicken stock (add water if need be—pot should be nearly filled to the brim) and pour into the pot. Allow sauce to reach a rolling simmer before adding back the ground beef, ground pork and pancetta. Bring pot to a boil.
Once the sauce/pot has reached a boil, lower the heat to a medium-low. Add the cheese rinds, basil, hot sauce and parsley. Cover the pot almost completely with lid and cook for 3-5 hours while stirring every 30-minutes or so. YOU BETTER SCRAPE THOSE SIDES DOWN TOO. The sauce should slowly reduce and thicken. You can add water OR lower the heat if the sauce is reducing too quickly—know your stove, bro. Once the sauce has reduced, you can add salt & pepper to taste. Freeze or refrigerate leftovers. This dish should serve a lot of people.
Note: I prefer to add salt & pepper at the end of the process to avoid over salting the dish.
recipe (ricotta mix):
In a large bowl, add ricotta, basil, and eggs. Whisk. Mix. Mix. Mix again. Once fully incorporated, add salt & pepper to taste.
recipe (bechamel):
In a medium pot set to medium, add butter and allow better to melt. Once butter starts to bubble BUT not burn, add flour and cook until flour fragrance is gone while stirring continuously—about 1-2 minutes with a wooden spoon or whisk.
Add milk slowly—maybe 1/2c at a time. Stir until sauce is smooth and slightly thick. Add in cheese and cook until cheese is fully melted and incorporated. Once fully incorporated, add garlic powder, nutmeg and salt & pepper to taste.
Note: Freshly minced garlic is totally fine here as well. I just prefer garlic powder for a better textural balance in the overall dish. It is up to you!
Note: If the sauce is too thick, add a bit more milk and stir in well.
assembly
Set oven to 375F.
In the casserole dish, ladle in you bolognese to cover the bottom of the pan. Add one layer of your lasagna noodles—they will not fully cover the dish. That’s fine. Add some of your bechamel and ricotta mix on top of the noodles. Then add your bolognese on top of the bechamel/ricotta mix. Finally you can add another layer of lasgna noodles. Repeat until you reach the top.
Once you’re at the top, add the last bit of red meat sauce/bolognese (there should be some left over after this…you’re welcome.). Mix with the last bit of bechamel/ricotta mix and top with your shredded/grated cheeses. See below for better visual. Bake in the oven for 45-60 minutes or until edges start to get that signature brown crisp. Remove from oven. Allow dish to set & cool for 25 minutes. Enjoy!
BONUS RECIPE
About a year ago my best friend ordered this dish from a local spot in DC and I was fascinated by the display! I figured, “Why not recreate it…?”—unfortunately the hand incident happened a few weeks later, and I never got around to it until NOW. I hope you enjoy this. I’m calling it “Lasagna Bathing” until I found what the restaurant calls it. It’s amazing.
lasagna bathing (lasagna smothered in basic red sauce)
ingredients
leftover bolognese party red sauce
2c leftover bolognese (from above)
1 can of crushed tomatoes
1T garlic powder
1T onion powder
1/2T crushed red pepper
1T sugar
2t dried basil
1c water
3 sprigs of fresh thyme leaves OR dried thyme
4T unsalted butter
salt & pepper to taste
Optional: 1T MSG
smothered lasagna
leftover lasagna
2-3c mozzarella, shredded
1c parmesan, shredded
fresh italian parsley, roughly chopped
helpful items:
cheese grater/shredder
8” in. cast iron skillet
large bowls
medium size pot/dutch oven
wooden spoon
ladle
oven mitts
recipe:
Place cast iron skillet. Set oven to 375F.
In medium size pot set to medium high, add leftover bolognese. Allow bolognese to heat up for 2-3 minutes. Add crushed tomatoes and fill up the crushed tomatoes can with water and add to pot. Bring to a simmer. While the sauce is at a simmer, add garlic powder, onion powder, crushed red pepper, MSG, sugar, thyme and dried basil. Raise heat to high and allow sauce to reach a boil. Once sauce has a reached a boil, reduce heat to low and add butter. Allow butter to fully melt and stir continuously. Add salt & pepper to taste.
Remove cast iron skillet from oven. Ladle sauce into pan—it should sizzle a bit. That’s fine. Move quickly! After a generous amount of sauce has been added, gently place a large square of lasagna in the middle. Blanket sauce and lasagna slice with cheese mixture. Place back in the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes. Switch oven to broil HI and allow dish to broil for 5-8 minutes or until goldish yellow—monitor closely. Take out of oven and allow to cool for 10 minutes. Enjoy!
